Carducci, a social dynamo who works to overcome his shy temperament, strives to be not only the nicest guy in the room, but also the best-dressed. "My look is part GQ, part discount. One of my favorite outfits is a yellow cotton shirt, a red tie with geometric shapes, tuxedo pumps and a checkered herringbone coat. I'm trying to let people know, 'I'm here and let's have a good time.' When you're in clothes that reflect who you are, you make it easier for others to talk to you—and it's not how beautiful you are, but how approachable you are."

1. Get Older, Feel Better

We dread getting older, but there is evidence that people feel more attractive with age. "Older women tend to shed their self-consciousness," says Leslie Goldman, author of Locker Room Diaries, an account of her yearlong ethnographic study of women at the gym. "I have never seen a woman over the age of 60 scurry off into a bathroom stall to change or quickly scan the room before dropping her towel."

1. Beauty Is No Panacea

On average, attractive people are not happier than their homelier peers. A sense of optimism and hope, gratifying relationships and meaning and purpose in your life have much more influence on your happiness than do your looks. "Don't get me wrong—there are times when I've gotten special treatment because of my celebrity," says Alt. "But I've had my share of heartbreak. I'm divorced. I lost my father and my brother. I don't think the fates decide what will happen to you based on your looks."

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